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brewitz
SW-hantering
1624 Posts |
 Posted - 2009/02/03 : 13:52:39
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Kanske ni redan känner till dem, jag hade hört vissa själv. I vilket fall som helst hör de till allmänbildningen. Mystery bus och Mystery taxi fick mig att skratta högt. De jobbrelaterade är ruskigt nära verkligeheten.
*TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
*BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
Project failed, and who was responsible.
*SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything,
and then leaves.
*ASSMOSIS.
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by
sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
*SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
screwed and die.
*CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.
*PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This
also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
*SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, And Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies
turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to
stay home with the kids or start a 'home business'.
*SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
*AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get
it to work again.
*ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and
file. Decisions that fall from the 'adminisphere' are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to
solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded 'administrivia' -
needless paperwork and processes.
* 404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message '404 not
found' meaning that the requested document could not be located.
*OH - NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just
made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').
*JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who
works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges
displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wears to
show their level of training.
*GOING FOR A McSHIT.
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food,
you're just going to the bog. (Loo) If challenged by a pimply staff
member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards
is known as a McShit with Lies.
*MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a wonder bra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed
from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
* SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.
* MONKEY BATH .
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo!
Aa! Aa! Aa!'.
* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive
people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back
in.
* MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you
wake up whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter
in your bed instead.
* BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze
cruise at 3:00am.
* BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze
cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how
you got here, and where you've come from.
* BREAKING THE SEAL.
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.
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