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n0p
Member
1047 Posts |
 Posted - 2005/12/21 : 13:39:34
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MESS TEST
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
TOY TEST
Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute roofing tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake child at night.
GROCERY STORE TEST
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
DRESSING TEST
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.
FEEDING TEST
Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
NIGHT TEST
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for I 0:00p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00a.m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
INGENUITY TEST
Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.
AUTOMOBILE TEST
Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect.
PHYSICAL TEST
(Women) Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.
PHYSICAL TEST
(Men) Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
FINAL ASSIGNMENT
Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers. |
Exit Planet Dust |
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lindvall
lite allmänt grå och tråkig....
1683 Posts |
Posted - 2005/12/21 : 14:58:32
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| He he he... Det där måste jag komma ihåg att visa för frugan! :-) |
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Stereo Audio
Member
674 Posts |
Posted - 2005/12/21 : 15:24:31
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 Haha, har alltid varit lite småskraj för ungar... Men nu, ojoj... |
Stereo Audio |
Edited by - Stereo Audio on 2005/12/21 15:30:56 |
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Fuling
DIY-Harry 2006, 200.000-klubben
7814 Posts |
Posted - 2005/12/21 : 18:28:57
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| HA, den där ska jag skriva ut i jätteformat och tejpa upp ovanför sängen så att jag får sova ifred framöver |
"För mig påverkar inte priset kabelns elektriska egenskaper och därmed deras påverkan på ljudet" |
Edited by - Fuling on 2005/12/21 18:29:12 |
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Circlomanen
Semesterfirare
9880 Posts |
Posted - 2005/12/21 : 19:19:26
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Jag skrattar massvis!!!!
Mitt i prick. Binne å Mudde kan verkligen konsten att töja LÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅNNNNGGGGTTTTTT PÅ MITT TÅLAMOD.
quote:
NIGHT TEST
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for I 0:00p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00a.m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
Så sant!!!! Speciellt sista raden.
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